iSurprise: A CarlyxSam oneshot
by whathellxo
Summary: Oneshot Cam. I don't own iCarly, Nickelodeon/Viacom/Dan Schnieder does. Or something of the sort. Review?


_I say, don't you know?_

_You say, you don't know_

_I say, take me out_

_If I wink, this can die_

_If I wane, this can die_

_I want you, to take me out_

_If I move, this could die_

_If I move, this could die_

_Come on, take me out_

_----- Franz Ferdinand "Take Me Out"_

My footsteps echoed loudly in the hallway and I winced. If my mom caught me doing this, well, it'd be bad. It'd be worse than the time Spencer burned my bacon. That was a bad day. I rounded the corner of our large apartment building, careful not to step on my neighbour's mess. Mrs. Tress seems to think that our hallway is a dumpster. I continued down the flights of stairs.

I could hear the rain pounding the walls and I stood at the front entrance glowering. _This is going to be a problem,_ I thought angrily. _But it's Carly's birthday tomorrow. I need to get her something._ Sighing, I pulled my hood over my hair and ran outside, immediately stepping in a puddle.

"Shit," I swore loudly, shaking off my shoe. Several people turned and scowled at me. I ignored them and continued running towards Carly's favorite little store: _Maia's_.

Fifteen minutes later I was shaking myself off in the store. I nodded to the owner, who raised an eyebrow and watched me carefully before turning to another customer. I nonchalantly looked around and quickly dismissed the fact that the store was completely devoid of security cameras. _Not a smart move on their part,_ I thought, picking up a cute rainbow bracelet. The tag read $7.89. _Especially not when people like me see tags like these_. I pulled the tag off and walked to another shelf, keeping my hand close to my side. When I reached the shelf, I quickly opened my palm and dropped the tag. With another smooth sweep of the back shelf, I began to head towards the front of the store, the bracelet tucked into my pocket.

"Miss? Can you take a seat right there?" The owner said, waddling towards me and pointing to a stool by her desk.

_Fuck me._

_Just. Just fuck me with a spoon. Take that spoon and ram it right up there._

"Is there a problem, Miss-" I squinted at her nametag. "-Rodriguez?" I calmly sat down and kicked my ankles against the stool legs.

"Can you show me what's in your pocket?" She asked.

_Shitshitshit._ "Sure." I pulled my pants pockets inside out. A few pieces of lint fell out.

"Now your sweater pocket?"

_Fuck a duck. _I hoped she was gonna forget about that.

"Oh fine." I snapped, pulling the bracelet out. She took it out of my hand and picked up the phone from her desk.

"What's your name?" She asked me, rummaging around in her desk.

"Sam Shay." I said automatically. The last name allowed me to contact Spencer in case of emergency. Like now. He was basically my family anyway. It's not like my mom does much-besides vomiting on herself after seven beers.

"Call your parents, tell them what you did. I'm going to fill out this form." She handed me the phone and I stared at it.

I can't go to jail. They serve shitty food.

They don't even have spiral ham. That is what my daily meals consist of. Spiraled ham. All they have is the shitty deli ham, which we all know isn't real ham anyway.

I will die in there. I will waste away.

I can see it now: "Samantha Puckett; Cause of death: Lack of spiral ham."

iCarly wouldn't get far. People can only be sick for so long, and Freddork can't hold secrets unless they're secured in his anti-bacterial underwear. Carly would be so bored.

Carly.

Her name set my insides into pure pandemonium. Every time her face lights up when she sees me, I...I can't even explain it. It's not like I'm a..a...y'know. Lesbian.

Because I'm not.

I don't think.

Okay, so the prospect _has_ crossed my mind. When I kissed Freddie, there was nothing there. At all. I mean, I should have felt at least something for having my first kiss, but the fact that he was a boy just didn't cut it for me. Whenever I see her, I can't help but act like a nub and grin stupidly. Whenever she hugs me, I want to wrap my arms around her waist and not let go.

But I never made anything out of these thoughts-just dismissed them as a phase that I was going through. But it's not a phase.

It's all I can do to not tell her, especially when we go swimming. Carly will complain about Freddie staring at her chest and I'll nod and agree while at the same time, I'm looking too.

What would I do without her? I can't even fathom-heh, fathom. Look at Sam; she uses big girl words now! - telling her, let alone living through it.

I looked back at the bracelet and stared at it. What would Sam Puckett do in this situation? I tapped my foot, still holding the phone. The owner looked at me with a suspicious glare so I pretended to dial a number and talking to someone who cared.

"Mom, I uh, got caught stealing." I said into the unresponsive phone. I inched closer to the bracelet. "I know, I know. Sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry. Fine! I'll work it off, just come and get me!" The bracelet was in reach. I slowly began to put the phone on the floor and grab for the bracelet at the same time.

Then, in a split second, the phone was on the floor, the bracelet was in my hand, and I was back in the rain.

I ran down the street, my heart pounding an unsteady rhythm in my chest. My feet thudded against the ground and as I passed several other shops, I could see my reflection, but only a passing glimpse. Long, curly blonde hair, trailing behind me. Sweater bouncing with every step I took. The one hand clutched around a small rainbow bracelet.

I ran into the first gas station I came across and immediately regretted it. It was the kind of gas station that you see in horror movies. You know, with the grimy shopkeep, the dim lights, cheap off-brand snacks, and Maxim on the shelf. Then the shopkeep turns out to be the killer. Happens every time.

"What can I do fer yeh?" The shopkeep asked. I could smell his aroma from where I was standing.

"Payphone?" I asked, conveniently coughing into my sleeve. The man pointed to the back of the store.

"Thanks," I mumbled, heading to the back. I swear, if my ass had eyes, it'd be giving the most bad-ass glare. Hah, bad-ass. Pun. Funny punny. _Shut up, Sam, and call Carly. _I slammed two quarters into the machine and dialed Carly's number.

"Hello?" She answered; I could hear Freddly whining in the background.

"Carly, it's Sam."

"Sam? Where are you?"

"_Carly, who is that?_"

"_It's Sam, now be quiet, Freddie._"

"I'm at the gas station by the smoothie store. Can I come over?"

"Um. Sure. Freddie's here, too."

"Well I've got two more quarters, I can call the exterminator if you'd like."

"Just get over here, Sam." She laughed, and then hung up.

Carly's apartment was about half an hour away from the gas station I had called her from. Lewburt's mole would implode if he saw me in his lobby covered in mud, so the plan was to sneak into her room from the fire escape. I gave up on running; what good would it do Carly if my lungs collapsed? Instead I walked fast, keeping my eyes straight ahead of me. By the time I reached Carly's apartment, the storm had darkened the skies; instead of looking like about 8 p.m., it looked like it was 3 in the morning. I turned left down the alleyway. The fire escape stairs lead straight up to the hallway with Carly's room, Carly's bathroom, and the iCarly set. Through the thick sheet of rain, I managed to spot the fire escape and began working my way up. The lights in the iCarly set were on but Carly's lights weren't; I assumed that that was where they were.

I pushed myself against the window and closely pressed my face up against it.

"Carls!" I said loudly, thudding my forehead against the wet glass. Freddie scowled at me from the purple beanbag. _My_ purple beanbag. Great. Now it's contaminated. Carly beamed at me and despite the cold rain, I felt myself warm up.

"You look like a wet dog," Carly exclaimed as she opened the large window.

"Freddie smells like a wet dog. Get some dry clothes for me, will ya?" I said, tossing my sopping sweater to the ground. Carly rolled her eyes and left the room. Freddie's expression was one of disbelief and anger.

"Yes, Fredward, I insulted you. Now close your mouth, you look like a toad enough as it is. Flies might get confused." I kicked my wet shoe at him. He threw it back and I responded appropriately by picking it up, walking over to his now cowering form, and repeatedly beat him with it until Carly walked back in.

"Sam, put your walking utensil down." She said and handed me a bundle of clothes.

"Don't look," I warned Freddie, brandishing the shoe at him before turning around

"Don't worry," he said, looking in the other direction. "I don't want my retinas to fry." I whirled around and whipped my soaking bra at his head.

"Hey!" He yelled. His eyes widened at the sight of my bra and he scooted backwards out of the beanbag, promptly tripping himself in the process of trying to get up. I quickly put the bracelet into the pajama pockets and then I walked over to my beanbag, sitting down before looking at Freddie.

"Leave." I said, motioning at the door.

"No." He replied bluntly, crossing his arms across his chest. I picked up both the bra and the shoe. "Okay, fine." He muttered, turning around and grumbling. I looked back at Carly, who was staring at me.

"Are you going to tell me why you were at the gas station?" She asked. I scooted over and patted the space next to me on the beanbag. She sat down and folded her hands neatly in her lap.

"Okay, so I totally remembered your birthday. But Mom didn't get any money until three days ago. And what does she do with it?" I paused for dramatic effect, but Carly answered anyway.

"Let me guess- she bought liver dynamite?" I sighed theatrically and nodded.

"Anyway, so I went to _Maia's_ to buy you something, but that store is-"

"Fucking expensive, I know." Carly finished, shaking her head.

"Yup. But I did find something that I thought you would like. Even though I obtained it in an...unorthodox...procedure." I said slowly, reaching inside the sweater pocket.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Carly started, but my hand was already in front of her. She watched quietly as I opened my fingers and displayed the rainbow bracelet.

"Sam...it's so cute!" She whispered, taking it from my palm and securing it around her wrist.

"I uh...Got you something else." I whispered; my pulse thudded erratically in my ears.

"What is-"

I didn't give her enough time to reply. My hands were already placed on her cheeks, my lips securing the pointless space between us.


End file.
